YOU NEED TO RETIRE..NOW

You know you need to retire if..........

A student has made you so angry you could just .......
If you had your way you would suspend the lot of them
You constantly use metaphors related to how it use to be in "the old days"
You wish corporal punishment was back
You think children are dumber now than in the past
You got angry when the principal wouldn't let you go to the bank on your study period
You never laugh at jokes student tell
your desk is off limits and no student is allowed near it
You have never taken students on a field trip.
You don't know how to use a personal computer
You have never been on the World Wide Web
When you hear the word "mouse" you think of a rodent
More than 25% of your students made an "F"
You only take new courses to renew you teaching certificate
You think TV is the ruination of today's children
You think that today's generation of students is hopeless
You do not allow students to bring in homework done on the computer
You scream "shut up" or "sit down" at least five times a day

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